Life's Lessons

Life is always full of interesting twists and turns. I find the more I think things are predictable, the more I am proven wrong. BUT through it all I am always amazed to find all the good things that come from the challenges we face. I was talking with a friend the other day, and she said that most of the time when we are asked to look back at the last year or so and identify the single worst thing that happened, we can easily do so. Then, when asked to identify the best thing, we often find that they are one and the same. This point is perfectly illustrated in my life by Evelyn. I would NEVER want to live through all of that again. HOWEVER, the things that I learned though it, the miracles I witnessed and the way it changed my life for good are things that I would also not trade for anything in the world. I can't really put it into words, but it makes sense to me. Things in life are not always easy. I know that, but I really believe that everything is for our good, even if it takes years to see that. Everyone has challenges in life, some people are more inclined to hide that and others to share. Either way, no one has it easy and there is no use comparing life and challenges. I don't think my life is harder than anyone else's and most of the time I think I have it pretty darn good. But I also think it is ok to admit hard times and to be allowed to receive comfort during those times. That is something I struggle with applying to myself. I hate to come across as complaining, or as needy etc. I am so afraid of offending someone who has it worse, or anything like that. Its just part of who I am. Now, I am getting the chance to learn to apply that to myself, again. About a week and a half ago I started having contractions. (I was only 28 weeks). I figured they would go away. They didn't. They intensified and came faster.  I let it go on for a few days and finally Nate made me call the doctor. I left him a message about what was going on and within 3 minutes he called me back, irate that I had waited, and sent me straight to the hospital. There, it was determined that I was in preterm labor and that the contractions were progressing my cervix. For a few hours they were worried I would have our little girl that day. Thankfully I didn't, and they let me go home. All that time it really hadn't sunk in what was going on. I was put on bed rest and told that I could get up to use that bathroom, but that was about it. No lifting anything, especially not Evie, no cooking, cleaning etc. Still, in my mind after a day or two everything would be back to normal. It has been almost a week and I am still having regular contractions, even being in bed all day. This brings me back to my point. A good friend came over and helped me realize that it was time to put THIS baby and myself first. I needed to let people help me, again. I needed to admit that I was scared, that I was worried and that was ok. I needed to admit I needed help. I think that is hard for most women, especially in our church. We think we are supposed to serve and never be served. We are supposed to do it all and keep it all together. Unfortunately in life that isn't always the case, and that is ok. I am slowly learning that. I am so grateful for the people that are helping me learn that. I am blessed to live in an area where people are very willing to help. I couldn't do it without them. It's still uncomfortable for me, but I am learning. Again, I am amazed at the way my Father in Heaven uses these experiences to teach and mold us. I can see it, that doesn't mean it's easy or that I won't fight it a little, but I can see it. So, for the next 7 weeks or so I get to really learn this lesson. I get to have other people doing for me the things I have always done for myself. I am grateful for it, even if I am not yet comfortable with it.