The First Week

My Sweet little Evelyn is now a week old. When I held her in my arms a week ago I had no idea what the next few days would entail. I thought all my worries were behind me, thought it was finally all over and I could now finally enjoy my perfect little baby. Then I hear words like VSD, open heart surgery and congestive heart failure. I couldn't make sense of what was going on and felt like I was trapped in a bad dream. But I am finally starting to come to grips with the reality of things and it is starting to sink in that this is for real. My precious baby girl was born with a hole in her heart. Actually 2 holes, but they are fairly certain that the one in the upper chamber will close in time. However she has a rather sizable hole in between the lower chambers and because of it's location it will not heal on its own. Left unchecked she would go into heart failure among other things. She is not big enough or strong enough right now, so they have to wait a few months before they can do the surgery. Now, I know everything will be ok. Everyone keeps saying how once the surgery is done she shouldn't have any problems and that this happens all the time. I understand that, but it also isn't as if my baby is just going in to have an ingrown toenail fixed. This is OPEN HEART SURGERY and she is MY baby! Until she has her surgery I have to watch her like a hawk for signs that she is going into congestive heart failure and make weekly trips to the cardiologists. She will likely have to stop breastfeeding because the strain it puts on her heart could become too much. She risks loosing weight and being unable to gain on her own. We can"t let her cry or get worked up because of the strain it would put on her heart, she could start having breathing problems, etc. There is so much that we have to worry and watch for from now until she has this major surgery. And then they are going to cut my tiny little baby open and work on her tiny little heart. It has been a rough few days. I have been coming to some realizations through all of this though. For one, it seemed so crazy to me how we came to match here. So obvious that the Lord sent us here, but why? Well Cleveland Clinic just happens to be the #1 hospital in the nation for cardiac care and heart surgery. I can take comfort in knowing that my baby is in the best hands this nation has to offer for this surgery. I am grateful beyond words for that. Also I wondered why we had to wait so long to have this baby, why we had so many problems getting her here. I wouldn't have been here near this hospital before, also now I have 3 very independent and helpful children that I won't have to worry about as much while trying to care for Evie and for the 5 or so days that she will be in the hospital after the surgery. Then there is why I had to come late, I was so uncomfortable and ready to have her, but had she not stayed in to cook longer she may not have been strong enough to make it through labor as well as she did. It is amazing to me to see just how thoroughly the Lords hand is in every aspect of my life. I am terrified about the next several months and I get overwhelmed by my emotions at times, but I do know that Lord is watching over us. I trust in Him. I hate the thought of seeing this beautiful little girl having to suffer, but I know that with the Lords help we can make it through this.

Double Surprise!!!

Last week was a week of surprises for us! First, my sister Oriana and her husband Travis surprised us and flew out on Friday February 17th to see us! It was so exciting and I was so happy to have them! The day started out just like the any other for the past 2 weeks. I was having hard contractions that woke me up and lasted all day. But they were staying about 7-10 minutes apart. As we got into the car to go get Oriana and Trav, I noticed they were getting closer. By the time I got the the airport they were 2-3 minutes apart and I knew I was in labor. I got out of the car gave them each a hug and them said sorry, but I am in labor so I have to drop you and the kids off. Luckily Nate met us at home. He ate a super quick dinner and we were off. We got the the hospital at 8:20pm and Evelyn Rose Tracey was born at 11:50pm. She weighed 8lbs. 2 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long. They said she looked to be at least a week overdue!  I felt super bad that we had just dumped the kids on Oriana and Trav, but I was soooo grateful that they were there and that I knew I didn't have a thing to worry about because of them! They are so awesome!! My mom got here on Saturday and by Sunday morning they let us go home! It was wonderful. I will spare all the detail as really all anyone really wants is to see the pictures of our adorable little Evie!!

(She is only 12 hrs old in this picture :))

 Our little hospital room. You can see Luke and Lily were more interested in the games on Travis and Nate's phones than smiling for the picture.

 My three sweet girls!

Luke adores his little sister! He is such a good brother! I am the luckiest mom in the world to have such good kids!!

 My chubby baby.

 Oriana, Evelyn and mom. Boy do I love these ladies!! I am sooooo grateful to have had them and all their help, they are amazing! (Travis and Nate too ;)!)

 Isn't she lovely?!

This post is not exactly how I wanted it to be. But I couldn't let another day go by without posting about my beautiful baby girl and my awesome family that came to help. I wish that I was good with words and could write a post detailing her birth and all the wonderful experiences we have had these past 6 days, but for now this will have to do. I am so happy to have my baby here and feel so grateful for all the love and support I have received!

Happy V-Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

(Hope your day is filled with love and joy!!)

Conversation

This morning I was getting the girls hair ready for school. As the three of us were in the bathroom together, we had a little conversation that went something like this:

Gabby: I am so excited for tomorrow!!!
Lily: Why??
Gabby: Because tomorrow is the 100th day of school! These days have been going by SO FAST!!
Lily: Not for Evie....

My thoughts exactly!!!
(P.S. Evie is what the kids call our little girl, since we are going to name her Evelyn)

My Girls

I love it when my girls match! I don't know what it is about it, but I just love it! I used to think I would NEVER do that as a mom, yet here I am. It hardly ever happens, but I always think it is so cute when it does! Plus I just think my kids are cute so I have to post pictures of them looking so!

 I am so glad these girls love each other so much right now! I just hope that continues throughout their lives and that they love our new little girl as much. (Though I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about that!! :)!)

 I asked Nate to take a picture of me and my girls. He was playing Chess with Luke. So after asking 50 times, he got up took one and then went back to playing. This is not the picture I would have likes, but it is one none the less. Me in all my "about to pop" glory and my cute girls all ready for church.

Boy am I lucky to have such great kids!!!