The First Week

My Sweet little Evelyn is now a week old. When I held her in my arms a week ago I had no idea what the next few days would entail. I thought all my worries were behind me, thought it was finally all over and I could now finally enjoy my perfect little baby. Then I hear words like VSD, open heart surgery and congestive heart failure. I couldn't make sense of what was going on and felt like I was trapped in a bad dream. But I am finally starting to come to grips with the reality of things and it is starting to sink in that this is for real. My precious baby girl was born with a hole in her heart. Actually 2 holes, but they are fairly certain that the one in the upper chamber will close in time. However she has a rather sizable hole in between the lower chambers and because of it's location it will not heal on its own. Left unchecked she would go into heart failure among other things. She is not big enough or strong enough right now, so they have to wait a few months before they can do the surgery. Now, I know everything will be ok. Everyone keeps saying how once the surgery is done she shouldn't have any problems and that this happens all the time. I understand that, but it also isn't as if my baby is just going in to have an ingrown toenail fixed. This is OPEN HEART SURGERY and she is MY baby! Until she has her surgery I have to watch her like a hawk for signs that she is going into congestive heart failure and make weekly trips to the cardiologists. She will likely have to stop breastfeeding because the strain it puts on her heart could become too much. She risks loosing weight and being unable to gain on her own. We can"t let her cry or get worked up because of the strain it would put on her heart, she could start having breathing problems, etc. There is so much that we have to worry and watch for from now until she has this major surgery. And then they are going to cut my tiny little baby open and work on her tiny little heart. It has been a rough few days. I have been coming to some realizations through all of this though. For one, it seemed so crazy to me how we came to match here. So obvious that the Lord sent us here, but why? Well Cleveland Clinic just happens to be the #1 hospital in the nation for cardiac care and heart surgery. I can take comfort in knowing that my baby is in the best hands this nation has to offer for this surgery. I am grateful beyond words for that. Also I wondered why we had to wait so long to have this baby, why we had so many problems getting her here. I wouldn't have been here near this hospital before, also now I have 3 very independent and helpful children that I won't have to worry about as much while trying to care for Evie and for the 5 or so days that she will be in the hospital after the surgery. Then there is why I had to come late, I was so uncomfortable and ready to have her, but had she not stayed in to cook longer she may not have been strong enough to make it through labor as well as she did. It is amazing to me to see just how thoroughly the Lords hand is in every aspect of my life. I am terrified about the next several months and I get overwhelmed by my emotions at times, but I do know that Lord is watching over us. I trust in Him. I hate the thought of seeing this beautiful little girl having to suffer, but I know that with the Lords help we can make it through this.

Double Surprise!!!

Last week was a week of surprises for us! First, my sister Oriana and her husband Travis surprised us and flew out on Friday February 17th to see us! It was so exciting and I was so happy to have them! The day started out just like the any other for the past 2 weeks. I was having hard contractions that woke me up and lasted all day. But they were staying about 7-10 minutes apart. As we got into the car to go get Oriana and Trav, I noticed they were getting closer. By the time I got the the airport they were 2-3 minutes apart and I knew I was in labor. I got out of the car gave them each a hug and them said sorry, but I am in labor so I have to drop you and the kids off. Luckily Nate met us at home. He ate a super quick dinner and we were off. We got the the hospital at 8:20pm and Evelyn Rose Tracey was born at 11:50pm. She weighed 8lbs. 2 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long. They said she looked to be at least a week overdue!  I felt super bad that we had just dumped the kids on Oriana and Trav, but I was soooo grateful that they were there and that I knew I didn't have a thing to worry about because of them! They are so awesome!! My mom got here on Saturday and by Sunday morning they let us go home! It was wonderful. I will spare all the detail as really all anyone really wants is to see the pictures of our adorable little Evie!!

(She is only 12 hrs old in this picture :))

 Our little hospital room. You can see Luke and Lily were more interested in the games on Travis and Nate's phones than smiling for the picture.

 My three sweet girls!

Luke adores his little sister! He is such a good brother! I am the luckiest mom in the world to have such good kids!!

 My chubby baby.

 Oriana, Evelyn and mom. Boy do I love these ladies!! I am sooooo grateful to have had them and all their help, they are amazing! (Travis and Nate too ;)!)

 Isn't she lovely?!

This post is not exactly how I wanted it to be. But I couldn't let another day go by without posting about my beautiful baby girl and my awesome family that came to help. I wish that I was good with words and could write a post detailing her birth and all the wonderful experiences we have had these past 6 days, but for now this will have to do. I am so happy to have my baby here and feel so grateful for all the love and support I have received!

Happy V-Day

Happy Valentine's Day!

(Hope your day is filled with love and joy!!)

Conversation

This morning I was getting the girls hair ready for school. As the three of us were in the bathroom together, we had a little conversation that went something like this:

Gabby: I am so excited for tomorrow!!!
Lily: Why??
Gabby: Because tomorrow is the 100th day of school! These days have been going by SO FAST!!
Lily: Not for Evie....

My thoughts exactly!!!
(P.S. Evie is what the kids call our little girl, since we are going to name her Evelyn)

My Girls

I love it when my girls match! I don't know what it is about it, but I just love it! I used to think I would NEVER do that as a mom, yet here I am. It hardly ever happens, but I always think it is so cute when it does! Plus I just think my kids are cute so I have to post pictures of them looking so!

 I am so glad these girls love each other so much right now! I just hope that continues throughout their lives and that they love our new little girl as much. (Though I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about that!! :)!)

 I asked Nate to take a picture of me and my girls. He was playing Chess with Luke. So after asking 50 times, he got up took one and then went back to playing. This is not the picture I would have likes, but it is one none the less. Me in all my "about to pop" glory and my cute girls all ready for church.

Boy am I lucky to have such great kids!!!

My Gabby is 7

 This little girl is my angel! All of my children are in there own special way. Gabby turned 7 on Thursday of last week. Usually, in her class, the mom's bring in cupcakes or some sort of treat to celebrate. On our way to school Gabby asked me if I would be coming in that afternoon with cupcakes. (We hadn't really talked about it before) I told her no, I just couldn't do it. (I hadn't been doing very well, more on that later) Without missing a beat she says, "Oh that's OK mom. Actually that is better. I am sick of cupcakes!" I wanted to start crying right then! I thought, I have to get home and make something to take in, but I had been in a lot of pain lately and I couldn't hardly stand. I actually ended up going into the Dr's instead. They sent me to the hospital where I stayed all day. By 7pm the Dr on call (my Dr was out of town...) said they wanted to keep me, but that they wouldn't break my water yet or alleviate the pain I was in. (Pain due to a bone in my pelvis that is separating and won't get better til I have this baby.) So I said no. I was going home to see my birthday girl. They weren't happy with me, but eventually let me go. My poor little girl! I hadn't made her cake, or her special dinner or done anything for her! Luckily the friend that took the kids went and bought a b-day cake and they sang to her. At least the day wasn't a total loss. But when we finally got them home she just hugged me and told me she couldn't wait til the baby gets here. She didn't even care that we had missed her birthday, she was just happy the baby would be coming soon! Honestly, where did she come from?! I feel so lucky and blessed to be her mother! She is so tenderhearted, so kind to everyone. She loves everyone and is always smiling and laughing. She never says anything mean to or about anyone. She has the most positive outlook on life and truly cares for everyone she meets. She is so good to the core, I just thank the Lord she is in my family, she teaches me a lot. Happy Birthday my little Gabby-Girl, you are one of a kind!!

Girl Time

When I asked Gabby what she wanted for her birthday, she said "a party!" I asked her if there was anything else, and she said no she just wanted a party. So, with the end of pregnancy drawing nearer, I decided it would be better to celebrate Gabby's birthday earlier rather then risk either being too exhausted or having a baby and not doing anything all together. Just like with Luke's party, I left it to the last minute to decide when and if I was doing it at all. Her actual birthday is Jan. 26th, so we decided on Friday the 20th. It actually turned out pretty good I think. We did a nail painting, cupcake decorating total girl party. Gabby was in heaven. She kept coming up and hugging me and telling me it was the best day ever! (That made it all worth it right there.) So even though I had woken up at 3 am with a terrible case of either the stomach flu or a gallbladder attack and had been sick all day, I still was able to make cupcakes, frosting and decorate the house in time for 8 little girls to join us at our house. Nate of course was working until 3 minutes before the party, but last minute we decided he would just take Luke out for some father/son bonding time. (Which was a very good idea considering the stressful day he'd had, listening to the craziness of all those girls would have put him over the edge!!) Thankfully a few of the other mothers kindly stayed to help me out knowing that I was not feeling very good. We had a Barbie movie going on while we painted nails to occupy those who had to wait. We somehow got all those nails painted, stickers applies and top coats to finish it off. Then we got the cupcakes out! THAT was entertaining!! They were so silly and then some didn't want to eat their creations!! Opening presents was crazy!! They were all huddled around Gabby and no one even had breathing room, but they didn't want it any other way. One mom made the cutest hopscotch board on canvas and the girls played the rest of the party on that! Gabby's face in that one picture says it all. She was happy and that made it all worth it! I don't do big parties very often, but I am glad I could throw this one together for my sweet Gabby girl!! I can't believe she will be 7 in 3 days!!!